Internet Time With Tattooed Heart

argumate:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

My roommate from Beijing is fascinated by English expletives and is asking about the most offensive terms we have. I tried to explain the difference between insulting swear words and offensive slurs, and he was delighted by ‘asshole’, ‘motherfucker’, ‘bastard’, ‘dickhead’, and ‘shithead’. Explaining slurs without using any proved to be difficult, as he just tried to insult me by saying, “You are a big slur!”

I told him that he can combine different words to make new ones and he just pointed at me and said, “Fuck you, you son of shit-sucker! You loser!” 

“In China, we say ‘fuck your mom, fuck your ancestors, fuck your parents, fuck everyone… but we don’t say ‘fuck yourself’. I love that! In America, you can fuck anyone, even yourself!”

Roommate: “What are bollocks?”
Me: “That’s not a word we really use in America, but it means testicles.”
Roommate: “What is that?”
Me: [makes cupping motion with hands] “You know… balls. Cojones. Your nuts.” 
Roommate: “I don’t understand.”
Me: “Uh…” [helplessly cycling through different physical gestures and words he might understand]
Roommate: [stares at me blankly]
Me: “They’re like… a dick’s little brothers.”
Roommate: “OH! I GET IT NOW!” 

there is something hilarious about being told to “fuck away!” by an angry person

(via prince-snoozy)

semi-attractive:

when ur arguing with someone and they tell u to calm down

(via swingbigdaddy)

radioactivekitty-va asked: Liz I don't care how hard you worked on it, I'm not playing your argonian dating sim

shmeards:

bedupolker:

You’re hurting Her.

@rain-wander

palaeofail-explained:

luxtempestas:

dimetrodone:

luxtempestas:

luxtempestas:

my favourite evolutionary trend is very unrelated animals saying “shit, lets go get huge and lumpy in the ocean” on multiple occasions

best for last

(Source: despazito, via palaeoplushies)

You heard of Panic! At Disco, now get ready for

kittencasual:

(Source: shiba-official, via flyingcuttlefish)

hadrosaurpunk:

waltersandmurdock:

feynites:

sweaterweathercub:

apinchofsanity:

pipistrellus:

kuttithevangu:

Honestly the mere fact that some people refer to Daddy Long Legs as “harvestmen” is creepier than 90% of all deliberately created horror but like the worst part is that the alternative is calling them Daddy Long Legs

#WHAT ARE THEY HARVESTING #I AM HAUNTED AND VEXED

They are harvesting our sorrows

True harvestmen, and not cellar spiders which are the other Daddy Long Legs, are truly omnivorous- known to eat everything from spiders, to fecal matter, to leaves and fungus… But one of the singularly most interesting habits of a particular European species is their almost symbiotic relationship with beehives– particularly man-made beehives. When a bee dies inside the hives, workers will remove the the corpse to just outside the hive just before dark. And the harvestmen? Well, they live up to their name.

So what you’re saying is that they are the grim reaper for bees.

The grim beeper

@sayhikatie  I also wish to draw something in relation to this.

(via flyingcuttlefish)